"Do not ask God why.....but ask God to be with us."
Sermon "When Sparrows Fall" by Brit Merrick
I spend my days with people who could break your heart. Dominicans who were born into a life of poverty. A vicious cycle of un-education, abuse, alcoholism, teenage pregnancies and in-adequate health care. Haitians who are living in a country with a long and complicated history of racism (both ways) that are treated as second class and live amidst the mud and scrap wood/tin houses with barely enough money for rice. But, with nothing to go back to in Haiti.
And now, to me these people aren't just humans, they have faces and names and smiles and emotions.
Just this Wednesday...
A 75 year old man with a blood pressure of 250/180, the highest I've ever recorded. His son a blood pressure of 180/120 at only 40 years old. My heart cringing as I send them both to the public hospital because I can't possibly bring down their blood pressure in a controlled and safe way as an out patient practitioner but knowing how badly they will be treated by the hospital staff. Will they even be given a meal?
A 2 month old baby covered from head to toe in a red peeling rash from an unknown cause whose mother took him to the hospital but was rejected and sent home to buy a medicine she will never afford.
A 24 year old with generalized enlarged lymph glands who can't even afford the simple blood test needed to check her white blood cells. My heart overflowing with concern as she is Haitian, and if she indeed has lymphoma, what am I to do with her? Dominicans can't even afford an oncologist in the DR, the closest in Santiago, let alone chemotherapy.
I know we all struggle with the "why God?" question.
Why was I born in America to a middle class family who have never known hunger or want and these precious children were born into such hardship. Lord, you are all mighty, can't you just make these difficulties disappear?
Of course He can, then why doesn't He?
To think that little tiny naive weak humans such as ourselves would have the answer to such a question is really giving us too much credit. We all know the story of creation, the fall and redemption yet still struggle so much with human disparity.
I watched an incredible sermon this weekend by Pastor Brit Merrick recommended to me by Hilary Holbrook that approached this question from a completely different perspective. Preached by a man who's 8 year old daughter has recently been re-diagnosed with cancer for the 4th time and is considered terminal. And the answer given to him through a moment of complete helplessness is not to ask why, but simply to ask God to be with us.
Because, isn't that the promise He makes to us? He will never ever abandon us.
And isn't that enough? To our meager human minds we want more. We want complete resolution of sickness, poverty and hurt. Which will come, in time. But what better to suffer with the arms of God around us? Holding our hands within the struggle.
And so, as I am faced with moral and ethical dilemmas and heart wrenching situations with each patient, I pray. I pray that He will work through me, despite how limited my abilities are, and He will be with each person my hand touches.
Because, even with all the resources in the world, it is meaningless without Christ.
