Today I am impatient.  I thought I was eager for this to begin BEFORE missionary training.  But now I am literally crawling out of my skin.  I want to be there.  I want to be there.  I want to be there.  I feel slowly like I'm starting to check out of the life I've created here, like a student in their senior year of college getting ready to take that next step.  Preparation?  Perhaps.  Realization that this is not where I'm supposed to be?  Just a stepping stone?  An important stepping stone.  Filled with incredible people I am blessed to have met.  But, I'm just not quite there yet.  5 months.  It feels so close....yet oh so far.  An officiall date...June 25th....blast-off.

Prayers for patience, trust and enjoyment of the last few months I have.  XoXo

keeping the main thing the main thing

"The most important advice I can give to you, is keeping the main thing the main thing," the President of SI recommended to us on our last night before leaving Visalia.

Interesting.  How can missionaries have trouble focusing on "the main thing?"  I found myself questioning in my head while listening to Dave.  In my current job back home in NY, sometimes the farthest thing on my mind seems to be Christ.  But, that's ok, right?  I mean I'm not in ministry yet....right?  And surely once I'm in the field devoting my life to Him, I will be focused on Him, all the time?

Fast forward to today.  Sometimes I think about things I shouldn't, as we all do.  Perhaps I'm a contemplative sort.  Maybe that's why this whole blog thing works for me.  I have always kept a journal.  Anyways.  I have the blessing and the curse of working with and against death day in and day out.  And today I got sad.  Not sad because of my patient's failing health, but because perhaps they missed "the main thing."

I don't understand the point of life without Christ.  I don't understand how there can be peace in the depths of someones soul.  Peace that consumes your entire being even when everything external to your body is in shambles.  Or joy that allows you to travel through sorrow's waters but stay afloat.  Or hope that helps you look to the next thing.  Or when all else fails, and you're standing at deaths door to not accept the love that we have freely been given, to walk through the door from this world to the next and know it only gets better.

As I walk through this world, my eyes trying to be open to Christ's love, I worry about those around me.  I wonder what He is doing to try and bring them home to Him.  How they are ignoring Him?

Then I think back to Dave's words.  Even missionaries lose focus.  We all become so consumed by our daily life.  By the next thing on our to do list.  We lose sight of the point.  The reason we exist.  Keeping the main thing the main thing.

I pray that we all remember the gift of life we were given.  That we remember who is in charge and should be the focus.  There is only one who we serve.  Focus on the main thing and everything will fall into place.

Matthew 28:19

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."         Matthew 28:19

New Missionary Training- Team DR!!  Karen & Mike, Kenny & Karen, Brian, Eric, Kim and me
In the Sequoias of Cali!!

Back in NY....back to reality....back to sitting in my bedroom reflecting on the last couple of days while enjoying some Ben & Jerry's.  All I can think as I'm going through my pictures from this trip is how God has answered my prayers in such a magnificent way.

Two years ago I pleaded to Him.  I begged Him.  Take me away.  I was sitting on a beach in Las Terrenas, DR.  It was night time and I was alone on a picnic table looking at the remarkable night sky.  It was the last night of my church's short term mission trip.  The next day I was leaving for the states.  To return to my life in Manhattan.  A life I had created, a selfish creation that didn't take Him into account.  I worked in a job that was far less than fulfilling and that was slowly eating away at me.  I had lost myself.  I was just barely breathing.  I pleaded a prayer of desperation to our Creator.  I told him I will follow him wherever He wanted me to go.  If that place was the Dominican Republic than bring me there.  Show me your will.  Let me live my life as You desire. 

And He answered.  Friends, I could never have dreamed this life that awaits me.  That He would provide an organization filled with humble Christians.  Christians that walk with a limp and love Jesus.  That desire to serve our Father with every ounce of their being.  That believe in helping the poor in foreign countries to such an extent that they must live in those foreign countries.  Who believe that Christ asks us to care for our neighbors and love them as He loves us.

The last 5 days have been incredible.  And as predicted, I couldn't be more excited for what lays ahead.  I am so humbled that this is the journey I'm on.  That the dream I have dreamt for as long as I can remember is coming true.

I spent four nights in Visalia, CA which is a town about 45 minutes south of Fresno and the home of Students International.  There were 15 new missionaries who flew out.  All in various stages of this process.  Which means, I am not alone!!  There are others who are going through fund raising and telling their bosses they are leaving and language school, etc.  8 of us are going to the DR, 2 to Fiji, 2 to Nicaragua and 3 to Costa Rica.

It was incredible to see what has transpired in each person's life that has brought them to this point.  We were able to share our testimonies and plans for each of our sites.  Every missionary will have a different role in their country.  In the DR we have a new country director, microfinance missionary, special education missionaries, social work missionary and youth ministry missionaries....and me (in case you need to be brought up to speed...haha...health care!!).  

We spent time going over HR stuff.  The nitty gritty of finances with a non-profit organization.  And, my favorite, we got know SI staff that work at headquarters.  All those incredible people who recruit students for outreaches and handle our state side finances and obligations, etc.  It was so great to see the outstanding people who are supporting us from afar.

I was beyond humbled by the people I will be serving with and the generosity of their hearts.  It appears there will be a good amount of new staff when I arrive to the DR which is nice.  I won't be the only one  :)

On Friday we were able to take an excursion to the Red Wood trees.  Which were so beautiful....and OLD!!!  How crazy to stand next to a living thing that is thousands of years old.  Oh the things those trees have seen.

So, here I am.  Work tomorrow.  Back to fund raising.  But, my eye is on the prize.  And He will continue to carry me.  And, perhaps my time to tell my Doc will come a little sooner than planned....as my fire burns brighter for the DR I can't see myself living in this divided state much longer.

Single Girl Missionaries!!  Mackenzie- Costa Rica, Meghan- Fiji, Kim- DR, Tara- Costa Rica

 Me and Kim!!

General Grant; 3rd largest tree in the world!!  40 ft in diameter and 1700 yrs old!!

Teenage Sequoia trees...still a 1000 yrs old!!

Happy New Year!!  Welcome 2012, bring it on.  I awoke yesterday morning with a smile on my face, literally.  Yes, you can imagine my cheesy self laying in bed with a grin from ear to ear.  Not just because I am not on call, have 9 days off (unheard of) and had just spent the whole weekend with friends who are all home visiting for the holidays (joyous!), but because this is when it all begins.  June 2012 isn't just a date my friends, it is 5 months away!!!  Heck yea.

AND!!!!  Tomorrow I head to Visalia, CA (right outside of Fresno) for new missionary orientation with Students International.  I don't care that today I awoke with tonsils the size of rocket ships and post nasal drip drowning my lungs.  Tomorrow at this time I will be boarding a flight at JFK towards my new life.  Towards my dreams.  Towards the life God has prepared for me before I was even made.  

Do I sound too excited?  Just bare with me.  All of you who know me well know how excited I can get about things, yea this is one of them.  I can't wait to commune with other missionaries.  To meet other people who have been led to leave the life they know and love and to serve in a foreign place.  To hear their stories.  How following Jesus has caused their lives to be up-rooted and a crazy wild ride.  To learn what it means to have brothers and sisters in Christ from around the world.  For me, this is step one.  And boy am I ready.

Students International works in 5 different countries; DR (obv), Costa Rica, Fiji, Guatemala and Nicaragua.  All new missionaries that have been accepted in the past year will be meeting in Visalia.  Which means, I will get to meet missionaries that have joined staff in the DR that weren't there in July when I interviewed.  That is what I am the most excited about!!

I will be bringing my journal with me like I did on my interview and hopefully share with you my chronicles of this trip.  Please pray for safe journeys of all the missionaries as they travel from various areas of the world.  Please pray that I won't be THAT person sneezing and grossing people out on the plane.  Please pray that as we are all together we further our love and journey for Christ.  And  if I may ask for one more prayer request.  I have a huge fear that I will not want to come back.  That as I am leaving Cali on Saturday I will not be ok coming back to my life in Poughkeepsie, NY; especially as the Dominican missionaries will be heading to the DR.  Please pray for strength and perseverance as I continue my stateside preparation.  Thank you!!

Yesterday, I was blessed to receive a scripture reading from a very dear friend and mentor (thanks Lourdes, xoxo) and I thought it was so applicable to all of us as we enter the new year!!

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."  Jeremiah 1:5

Rest assured and in peace with this knowledge.  He knows you and loves you.  Live 2012 with and through that knowledge.  And continue to testify according to that love.