Growing Pains

Sometimes as a Christian I feel as though I'm constantly going through a bit of growing pains.  Things that I should know, en grained in my heart and soul, just aren't always connected to my thinking.  And then when I have that moment of realization, I just feel so young in my faith.  And, recognize what's been there all along but that I just momentarily didn't lean into.

I'm tired, a lot.  I am very much living in the mission world and yet, ashamedly, still trying to live for me.  When I'm not in my communities serving, sometimes the last thing I want to do is answer that late night or early morning medical phone call or when putting laundry in the washer, speak with the lonely young Dominican who lives on the base.

This week, God has placed on my heart to read the gospel of Mark.  And so I have, for five days and I am only a few chapters in.  Because, I am just so in awe.  Jesus was surrounded by so many todo el tiempo.  His ministry did not end.  He gave.  And gave.  And gave.  He gave of himself and of his time.  He healed people, spiritually and physically.  He had so many people following him around that he had to stand in a boat to preach to them.  I cannot even fathom that!  The bible constantly talks about the compassion Christ had for the multitude.  God calls us to give until it hurts just as Christ did in all His humanity, and I just realized...am I truly doing that?

As Christians we need to be careful of the extreme, we need to be quasi-protective of our time or we could get burnt out.  We of course need to take time for ourselves, to rest and to spend time with our Father.  But, I realized all those people in my life who I could have the opportunity to minister to (like my awesome neighbor who takes such good care of his three single girls living next door and is not a Christian) that I just don't, because I'm too tired or some other insignificant excuse.

And I stand ashamed.  And stretched.  And with eyes wide open to all the opportunities to share the love of Christ that I haven't taken advantage of.

Last night, I set aside two hours and spent time with Isabel that young Dominican who lives on the base as her husband is the care taker.  And I listened.  And my head was tired of speaking in Spanish all day and all it wanted to do was hear English, but I continued to listen.  And I knew without a doubt I was where I needed to be.  As she shared with me something incredibly heavy on her heart that she had not shared with anyone but her husband I knew why God was showing me the compassion Christ had for the multitude.  Because, sometimes we have to be where we don't want to as Christians.  We have to place our selves on the back burner and listen and love and give.  Like He did, and continues to do.

And, so I ask that we all take time to reflect whether we are truly "giving of ourselves in all aspects until it hurts?"