Not sure it ever gets easier. A sleepless night knowing what I'm leaving behind. A 14 year old dog who can barely make it up the stairs. Soft snow falling outside the window. A warm shower. A church family who embraces and shares my theology. A brother who can't express emotions but chooses to spend a night together bc deep down he knows it will be a year till we meet again. A comfort cat who curls next to me beneath my blankets. Friends who know what I'm thinking simply through body language. Family who send me texts of encouragement. And parents who supportively let me go with tears in their eyes.
This is what I leave as I grasp that the next visit home will be one year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days.
That is a long time.
Sometimes I wish I could tell a year-ago-me how un-glamorous a missionaries life truly is. How there will be times when my water is brown. How invasive waking up to cockroaches in your bed is. That a brown widow spider infestation is kind of scary. That no matter how warm it is outside a cold shower is hard to get used to. And. How difficult saying goodbye truly is. It never gets easier and it absolutely never hurts less.
But, then I remember that anything worthwhile has sacrifices. I am blessed to have a home in NY that will always be home and I will always love. I have an incredible support team that has spoiled me through gifts, love, dinners, prayers and encouragement- enough to last a year.
My fears have been proven wrong...the longer I live away the less I resent the states but the more I appreciate what we have....that I can go to hannafords and not just buy a can of tomato juice but choose from 30 brands. Anyone can get GOOD health care. Target is 20 minutes away. Our schools are some of the best in the world. And our country has endless programs to help people in and out of the states.
God continues to teach me who I am and what I love. I love America. I love the Dominican Republic. I love working in the dirt and campos. I love helping people in my white coat and pumps. I am a dichotomy. And that's ok.
I return to the DR refreshed and ready. Ready to start my real mission. To open my clinic. To immerse myself in only Spanish. To teach about women's health. To love my patients. To minister to American students. To follow the strong passion and call that is engraved in my heart.
And so, I part NY with tears in my eyes, knowing this isn't goodbye forever but just a little longer than I'm used to. And in this time I will have the opportunity to grow and lean further into the love and support of our father.
I thank each and every one of you for the generosity, love and time we were able to spend together. It is with this that I am able to head back to my place of ministry with a full heart ready to serve.
Dear Dr. Rachel, so good to know you through your profile on the blogger. I am so glad to stop by your Blog "Whereever it may lead" and under it the very first post of 2013 moves me with your sharing about your love for Dominican Republic where you go for a missionary work. I realize that you are medical professional. Well I am in the Pastoral ministry for last 33 yrs in the great city of Mumbai, India a city with great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live with 20 million population of which alomost half of the populaton lives in the slums and thoes who live in the slums are the people who are poverty stricken, marginalized, underprivileged and socially, politically and enconomically oppressed. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the broken hearted and give them new life, hope,future and purpose to their lives. We also encourage young people as well as adults from the west to come on a short term missions trip to work with us in the slums of Mumbai. We would love to have you come with your medical team to work in the slums of Mumbai where diseases are rampent due to unhygienic conditions. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede.
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