Gloria a Dios!!

God has heard our prayers!  I thank you for everyone who has been praying for Catalina and her son Julian! Yesterday they traveled once again to Santo Domingo to see the pediatric orthopedic specialist, Dr. Standard, from Johns Hopkins.  He had extremely encouraging news for us!  Julian's leg is in fact improving with the 8 plate!  The genus valgus deformity of his left leg has improved from a 120 degree variation to a 108 degree variation!  Praise the Lord!

This means we will continue waiting and seeing if the 8 plate can completely correct the deformity!  Julian has an appointment in July for follow up XRays.  If within a years time there isn't as much of an improvement as we hoped then he will need one more surgery- an osteoplasty with external fixation.  This plan is much more exciting and encouraging then our meeting in January with a previous orthopedist.

Catalina and I were in tears last night rejoicing at this news, it has certainly exceeded our expectations!  We certainly serve a mighty healer :)

Do not ask God why, but ask God to be with us

"Do not ask God why.....but ask God to be with us."  

Sermon "When Sparrows Fall" by Brit Merrick

I spend my days with people who could break your heart.  Dominicans who were born into a life of poverty.  A vicious cycle of un-education, abuse, alcoholism, teenage pregnancies and in-adequate health care.  Haitians who are living in a country with a long and complicated history of racism (both ways) that are treated as second class and live amidst the mud and scrap wood/tin houses with barely enough money for rice.  But, with nothing to go back to in Haiti.

And now, to me these people aren't just humans, they have faces and names and smiles and emotions.

Just this Wednesday...

A 75 year old man with a blood pressure of 250/180, the highest I've ever recorded.  His son a blood pressure of 180/120 at only 40 years old.  My heart cringing as I send them both to the public hospital because I can't possibly bring down their blood pressure in a controlled and safe way as an out patient practitioner but knowing how badly they will be treated by the hospital staff.  Will they even be given a meal?

A 2 month old baby covered from head to toe in a red peeling rash from an unknown cause whose mother took him to the hospital but was rejected and sent home to buy a medicine she will never afford.

A 24 year old with generalized enlarged lymph glands who can't even afford the simple blood test needed to check her white blood cells.  My heart overflowing with concern as she is Haitian, and if she indeed has lymphoma, what am I to do with her?  Dominicans can't even afford an oncologist in the DR, the closest in Santiago, let alone chemotherapy.

I know we all struggle with the "why God?" question.  

Why was I born in America to a middle class family who have never known hunger or want and these precious children were born into such hardship.  Lord, you are all mighty, can't you just make these difficulties disappear?

Of course He can, then why doesn't He?

To think that little tiny naive weak humans such as ourselves would have the answer to such a question is really giving us too much credit.  We all know the story of creation, the fall and redemption yet still struggle so much with human disparity.

I watched an incredible sermon this weekend by Pastor Brit Merrick recommended to me by Hilary Holbrook that approached this question from a completely different perspective.  Preached by a man who's 8 year old daughter has recently been re-diagnosed with cancer for the 4th time and is considered terminal.  And the answer given to him through a moment of complete helplessness is not to ask why, but simply to ask God to be with us.

Because, isn't that the promise He makes to us?  He will never ever abandon us.

And isn't that enough?  To our meager human minds we want more.  We want complete resolution of sickness, poverty and hurt.  Which will come, in time.  But what better to suffer with the arms of God around us?  Holding our hands within the struggle.

And so, as I am faced with moral and ethical dilemmas and heart wrenching situations with each patient, I pray.  I pray that He will work through me, despite how limited my abilities are, and He will be with each person my hand touches.

Because, even with all the resources in the world, it is meaningless without Christ.

Transcending languages

I'm in Las Terrenas with Sowers of the Kingdom!!!!!

me and Dr. Vanesa, dentista on our way to LT to meet up with the NY team!!

Dr. Fernando, me, Dr. Vanesa and Toni Viau!

Dr. Fernando leading worship with our patients

Semana

Clinic number 2

Lourdes, Dr. Fernando, Ellen and Esther

Ok. We all know the passion I have for community health clinics. The feeling of being able to treat a patient covered in scabies, fungus and bacterial infections is entirely incomparable. Until now.

Add to that the ability to FINALLY communicate with my patients. To use the skills I share with my American patients to place them at ease. To joke with a child. To gently prod an elderly gentleman to lift his legs. And to tell them, myself, their diagnosis and treatment.

To connect with. Con mis palabras.

This was further enforced when I compare this week to last.

I spent wed, thurs and fri in a Haitian church, where once again I found myself in a situation where I could not connect with my patients short of a greeting and a smile. A frustration I have endured for the past three years.

Especially as I'm delivering difficult news.

A 27 year old man with an irregular heart beat, probable cardiomegaly and hypertensive who desperately needs to see a cardiologist. As I relayed my recommendation to a man who could scarcely afford 75 cents to see me that he needs to see an expensive specialist I'm sure compassion was lost in translation. Scare him I did. For good reason. But how do u comfort without words and in a culture where a touch or a smile may be wrongly perceived?

Will he receive care? I hope so. We involved the Haitian pastor who will take a collection in church and go with him as a Spanish translator. But hopeless I felt.

You see. Love and compassion is my gift. Not medicine. And once again to have my gift blocked? A challenge.

But, this week, to have the ability of speech once again with my Dominican patients was a sweet gift.

So what's the solution? Become trilingual while I'm not even close to bilingual?

And then if God calls me to Africa, learn other languages? For those of you who know my past struggles with French, you know the impracticality of that.

It truly only makes sense to rely completely and wholly on the Ultimate Healer. The Healer who can transcend all languages. Who can provide comfort that surely a human hand cannot. To trust that my knowledge will be relayed. That my heart will show. And if it doesn't, that's ok, because it isn't about me anyways.

And so, I will continue to chase after the Holy Spirit. And pray that each hand I lay on a patient, each heart I listen to and every medicine I give will not be from me.



A snap shot of my first team of students last week in Jarabacoa

praying with my patients, Lindsay and Trever

me and Amelia, my translator for Creole!

First team of students helping at the Haitian church!!

Health care discrepancies

Health care discrepancies, already.  I knew they were coming....

A pregnant woman friday night developed severe vaginal hemorrhaging.  Unfortunately, hospitals do not keep a blood bank.  And so, as she was fighting for her life and her baby's life (who unfortunately died later that night due to malformation of her lungs...she was only 28 weeks) at 3 am her husband had to call everyone he knew to get type A+ blood, so he didnt also lose his wife.  Thankfully some people actually knew their blood type (I'm fairy certain I'm not even sure of mine) and she had a blood transfusion and is doing much better.  Really?

My students and I just returned from a home visit with Carol (a nurse) and Sissy and Betsy both physical therapists to a hardworking woman in her 50s right outside of town in a tiny house at the back of a colmado (tiny grocery store).  About four months ago she fell off her hammock onto her sacrum.  She lives with her husband who is uneducated and has mental disabilities.  She doesn't understand what was or wasn't done for her at the hospital.  But since her fall, she has not walked, at all.  She lives in a tiny house at the back of a colmado (a tiny grocery store).

We arrived thinking she would need pretty intensive medical help.  She was very depressed sitting in a room alone all day with absolutely nothing to do.  After a full neuro and musculoskeletal exam we determined she has absolutely no paralysis.  She is unable to ambulate bc her muscles are entirely atrophied from lack of mobilization.  She can weight bare slightly.  What she needs is inpatient rehab, a new bed that she can lay in without sinking to the floor, a husband who can provide her better care and hope that if she can learn to walk her life may improve.

As we concluded our day of prayer with the students today I encouraged them to look past the physical needs.  To go beyond the lack of materialistic possessions and dream about what their true hopes for each and every patient we see could be, because as Jesus said, the poor will always be amongst us.

And so we dreamed.  We dreamed of a place where all needs are met.  Where a woman in grief doesn't also have to worry that she will not get the blood transfusion she needs.  Or a woman who is unable to ambulate, but has the potential, would have hope to get better because perhaps life just wouldn't be so hard.

And then we prayed.  And as we prayed we realized that all these things couldn't possibly happen with us.  But of course the only hope for this place, for every place, is the love of Christ.  Perhaps life doesn't hand out fair cards.  But, we know that as Christians with the hope of salvation, a better future will come with all justices met and without any inequalities,

Please join me in praying for these things.  Not just in Jarabacoa, but in this world.  That we may find  peace in the discrepancies bc we are not of this world and oh equality will come.

This is my clinic in Jarabacoa!!!  Take a right on the La Avenida, past the baseball field and next to an apartment building on the right hand side.

I know this is short....but I have a busy week with Mon and Tues mornings filled with clinics in Mata Gorda, a home visit tomorrow afternoon of a woman who is paralyzed and may have an infected wound, and Wed-Fri filled with clinics in the Haitian church.  Which I had the privilege of visiting this am.  And they are pumped (but not as much as me).

I promise more pictures, stories and updates to follow this week.  Before I head to Las Terrenas for a week of clinics with Sowers of the Kingdom!

Be well!!

XoXo

finalemente

So, I've sat down to write a blog entry at least three different times in the past two weeks.  Each time, I tried to upload pictures to my blog.  Each time failed.  And so, I didn't write a blog entry.  I still am not able to upload pics, but I decided I don't care.  BECAUSE!  Surely you can tangibly feel my excitement surging through your computer as you read this entry. 

This is the week.  And I mean THE WEEK!!! finalemente!!!!!!!!  And my clinic is done!!!

This is the week when I have students of my own.  When I will begin clinics in two different communities.  When I will be speaking the same language as my patients (except Haitians).  When I will get to pray with them.  When I will minister to my students and share with them my passion for Jesus and for health care and for community development.

So what, you ask, has transpired in Rachel's life over the past two weeks?  Well.  Lots.  Here's a summary.

We had our first team of the year serve with us for two weeks.  They were from a gap year program out of Texas that focuses on developing discipleship and leadership.  I won't lie and tell you we were super excited to have a team as soon as we returned to Jarabacoa and opened our sites after the Holidays, but I will tell you that God incredibly blessed us by who he sent.

I glued myself to Dr. Fernando, who is running the Health Care Site with SI (mine is called the Community Health Care Site).  We work closely together but do some different things....for instance he spends time in the hospital, I do not.  It was incredible to watch him minister to both Dominicans and the American students.  We were able to do prayer walks, teaching, praying, medicine, testimonies, etc.  Amazing.

The two students we had working with us were unbelievably encouraging and excited for my vision and what students will help me do.  We walked through one of the communities I will be having a 5 day clinic in, speaking Spanish and handing out fliers for the next couple of weeks...and people were excited.  Haitians.  Dominicans.  American students.  This is HUGE in the life of Rachel.

Because.  The last 6 months have been filled with worry.

In July I was intimidated by the language.  By this morning I was able to have a one hour meeting in Spanish.

In August I was petrified I would not know tropical medicine.  Patients with worms, dengue, lepto, amoebas, bacterial infections, etc have developed my medical skills.

In September I never thought I would have patience for the Dominican culture.  Poca a poca I am embracing the lack of a schedule!

In October I hated spiders in my office.  I still hate spiders in my office, but I can deal.

In November I was petrified that students would serve with me and not enjoy their time or be enriched by their time serving.  But, guess what?  Thats not up to me.  But, my willingness to let the Holy Spirit flow from me.

In December I didn't want to come back.  And here I am.  Finally not wanting to be anywhere else in the world.

And in January, each of these concerns that I have lifted in prayer have been answered.   I know there will be challenges.  But, God has equiped me and prepared me for this moment.  And I am not lying when I admit I become a bit tachycardic when I think of community outreach.  It is the love and passion Christ has deeply engraved in my heart.  Along with Americans, Dominicans and Haitians.

And so, if I may ask for your prayers in the next two weeks as all this finally becomes a reality!  Stay tuned for more stories....and hopefully pictures!

And please- last Tuesday Catalina and I took her son Julian to Santo Domingo for a f/u visit with the orthopedist.  Unfortunately his initial surgery was unsuccessful.  It appears the growth plate in both bones (tibia and fibula) in his lower leg has been affected, which means he may need regular surgeries until he stops growing.  In February a specialist form Johns Hopkins will be visiting, we're hoping he will have a better idea of how to help Julian grow and ambulate normally!  Please pray for Julian, this doctor, Catalina and he family as they are struggling with this news.

Gracias a ustedes!

First Post of 2013!

Not sure it ever gets easier. A sleepless night knowing what I'm leaving behind. A 14 year old dog who can barely make it up the stairs. Soft snow falling outside the window. A warm shower. A church family who embraces and shares my theology. A brother who can't express emotions but chooses to spend a night together bc deep down he knows it will be a year till we meet again. A comfort cat who curls next to me beneath my blankets. Friends who know what I'm thinking simply through body language. Family who send me texts of encouragement. And parents who supportively let me go with tears in their eyes.

This is what I leave as I grasp that the next visit home will be one year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days.

That is a long time.

Sometimes I wish I could tell a year-ago-me how un-glamorous a missionaries life truly is. How there will be times when my water is brown. How invasive waking up to cockroaches in your bed is. That a brown widow spider infestation is kind of scary. That no matter how warm it is outside a cold shower is hard to get used to. And. How difficult saying goodbye truly is. It never gets easier and it absolutely never hurts less.

But, then I remember that anything worthwhile has sacrifices. I am blessed to have a home in NY that will always be home and I will always love. I have an incredible support team that has spoiled me through gifts, love, dinners, prayers and encouragement- enough to last a year.

My fears have been proven wrong...the longer I live away the less I resent the states but the more I appreciate what we have....that I can go to hannafords and not just buy a can of tomato juice but choose from 30 brands. Anyone can get GOOD health care. Target is 20 minutes away. Our schools are some of the best in the world. And our country has endless programs to help people in and out of the states.

God continues to teach me who I am and what I love. I love America. I love the Dominican Republic. I love working in the dirt and campos. I love helping people in my white coat and pumps. I am a dichotomy. And that's ok.

I return to the DR refreshed and ready. Ready to start my real mission. To open my clinic. To immerse myself in only Spanish. To teach about women's health. To love my patients. To minister to American students. To follow the strong passion and call that is engraved in my heart.

And so, I part NY with tears in my eyes, knowing this isn't goodbye forever but just a little longer than I'm used to. And in this time I will have the opportunity to grow and lean further into the love and support of our father.

I thank each and every one of you for the generosity, love and time we were able to spend together. It is with this that I am able to head back to my place of ministry with a full heart ready to serve.