This is not me having a pity party.  Ok, perhaps it is me having a slight pity party.  I spent time with friends last night who are so happy (a beautiful thing).  They are living the single girl dream.  In a great city surrounded by other people their age.  I am so happy for them.  But, my humanity has turned me into an envious person.  I wish that New York City had worked out for me.  That was supposed to be my time.  Time to enjoy life.  To work and live with my best friend.  To meet up with other people my age after work.  To date.  Today, I'm a little angry at God for leading me on this crazy journey.  Why couldn't I have been satisfied with the life I had planned for myself?

And then my Mom spoke her oh so clear words of wisdom.  She pondered whether Jesus ever wished His road could be easier to follow?  That He could indulge in the path of His choice.  Instead of following the path He was destined to lead?

What a crazy thought to think about.  Now, let me be clear when I say I am not comparing my itty bitty missionary life to that of Christ's, although I strife to be more like him everyday.  But, I do wonder.  He was a human.  He knew the path he was on.  I'm sure there were times He thought about a different existence.  But, instead He knew what He had to do.  He knew what His Father called Him to do.

I realize that the DR is my dream.  It is God's dream for me as well.  And once I am there, I will feel the fulfillment I have been looking for.  But, today I let myself be human and be a little sad for the life I will not lead yet trust that the path I am on is so much greater than anything I could have dreamt for myself.