Im safe!!!

Good evening. I'm breaking my initial desire to spend the next 3 weeks away from the Internet, email and blogging. But, extenuating circumstances change things a bit. I thank the many of you who have emailed me with concern and have been keeping Colorado Springs in your prayers through this devastating wild fire. I am in fact safe. The past 4 days have been a bit of a blur but filled with incredible blessing.

When I blogged on Monday, never would I have imagined that I would be so close to such a catastrophic disaster. Missionary Training International headquarters and accommodations are located in Palmer Lake which is very close to the Air Force Academy. On Tues they were evacuated and on Wednesday we were. At MTI we learn a lot about being flexible and adapting to various situations, well we got the best possible real life training!! I am so incredibly overwhelmed by the kindness and love shown to us by the surrounding communities, and we are just visitors!!

 Almost 60 of us were welcomed with open arms to stay at a beautiful Baptist church and continue training there. We were incredibly blessed with enough showers, blankets, towels and air mattresses for all of us! This community that had lost over 250 houses and is mourning the loss of thousands of acres by a fire that is still burning, was serving us. I saw Christ over and over and over again the past days. What a blessing.

So, to answer many of your concerns, we are safe! Today we were given the clearance to head back to Palmer Lake and I am writing to you from our shared community room. I will be sure to keep you informed if anything changes. Please keep this wonderful community in your prayers as they are just so sad over the damage, and countless firefighters and emergency responders are working tirelessly.

7:20 am Airports.  Either you love em or you hate em.  I happen to love them.  Especially Detroit Airport.  No I'm not in Detroit.  Im sitting in Laguardia.  I don't know if it's just the adventure, people watching (which we know can get pretty darn interesting) or feeling like the world is at your finger tips.  But, I'm fairly certain I feel a bit more like myself when I'm about ready to get on an airplane.


My two weeks of traveling the northeast and spending time with family and friends have commenced.  Since stopping work I have attended a bachelorette party, had a massage (bday present I was saving for when I was no longer on call, would have been great if the masseuse didn't talk so much!), traveled to Delaware and Ocean City, Maryland to spend time with my Philly roommate, dinner with my aunt (a fellow PA!), spoke at Odyssey, went to Hunter mountain for a few days with a college friend, took Jamie to the city, packed for Colorado and DR, helped throw a rehearsal dinner and was a bridesmaid in a wedding.  And who could forget the awesome prayer warriors who met at my house Thurs evening? 


The past two weeks were perfect.  I'm so thankful for whoever convinced me to take them.  They were badly needed to transition from work life to this next phase.  And now I speak to you as I am waiting to board my flight to mission training international in Colorado Springs, CO.  I've had many people ask me what the next 3 weeks entail.  Truthfully, I'm not quite sure.  I've heard MTI helps train you as a cross cultural missionary.  Teaches you how to take care of yourself while out in the field.  And prepares you for spiritual warfare.  But, this is all speculation.  We shall wait and see. 


Prior to leaving for Colorado, I had a wonderful correspondence with my site director in the DR who for all intensive purposes will be my leader/boss/mentor.  All SI missionaries are required to attend MTI before arriving in the field.  His suggestion was that I really limit my communication with the "outside" world for the next 3 wks.  To really be able to focus on Christ and what I am experiencing at this time emotionally and spiritually.  I tend to agree with him.  Respit with Christ is exactly what I need after an amazing but exhausting year of fundraising, work and traveling.  I need to refresh.  To be reminded of why I'm moving.  To serve Him.  And to commune with other missionaries who understand. So this is the last blog entry I will do until I am back in NY July 13th.  Hope everyone has a wonderful fourth of July.  Roast some s'mores for me!! Xoxo

I never thought of myself as materialistic.  Why is it then that I'm not sleeping well at night?  With thoughts of how much I love my car, XM radio (alt nation to be exact), Netflix (a Madmen guilty pleasure) and Pandora.  Each of these I will be leaving behind.  Specifically this week.  Sigh.  So stupid.  I wish I could say I hurtle forward without sadness.  Without analyzing all I'm "giving up."

I've spent the last couple days in Delaware visiting my PA school roommate.  What an incredible blessing to have this time to spend with so many people I love.  I can't believe in one week I leave for missionary training in Colorado!!

Today I gave my favorite missionary speech thus far.  I believe I have shared that my family and I worship at a church service started by Hopewell Reformed Church for people with disabilities.  This is my home.  This is where we worship and see faith at its purest and most tangible form.  And this is where I chose to give my final talk as I leave for the field.  It was awesome.  How incredible to teach of the extreme poverty in the DR.  And how genuine was my audience's reaction.  This population is not immune to the ads in magazines and on tv that we so easily ignore.  They ached for my future patients.  "How can they not even have band-aids?"

Speaking at Odyssey

Had to show off "the beginning," our family's first church
photo that also featured some awesome hair do's

People seemed interested!

Prayer Circle!!

Amazing!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Father's Day!!

I sit before you in tears.  I've been waiting for them to arrive.  I thought they would come as I was saying goodbye to my college roommates.  Or goodbye to my patients.  Or goodbye to my doctor.  But, they didn't.  I wouldn't let them.  But, now as I sit alone on a Tuesday morning in my childhood bedroom completely overwhelmed by His mercy, grace and provision they come.

Matt Redman plays on my ipad.  His words resonate so clearly within my heart.  "The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning.  It's time to sing Your song again.  Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me.  Let me be singing when the evening comes."

I shamefully admit that I have forgotten.  My eyes have lost the focus.  The vision of what this is all about.  I got caught up once again in what I am doing, instead of what He is doing.  As I continue speaking about all the patients I hope to help, I become entirely overwhelmed.  What difference can I truly make?  But, then a gentle reminder that when I said Yes Lord, I will follow you to the Dominican He didn't ask me to do it alone.  He will be with me.  As I continue the goodbyes.  As I travel the northeast visiting friends.  As I go to Mission Training with other missionaries who I'm sure are much farther in their walk than I.  As I depart for the DR.  He will be there.  He will not abandon me.  Not now, not ever.  It is Him that will work, I just have to let Him.

Last Tuesday was the hardest day so far.  I said goodbye to my Tuesday patients.  The patients that for some reason all fall on the same day whom I have seen every week for two years.  The patients that break my heart to be leaving.  And they humbled me with their tears, their love and their support.  I ended the day angry.  Doubting this journey.  Feeling as though my patients here desperately need me!

And then, I step outside to this

Look closely, do you see it??  The most vibrant rainbow I have ever seen.  I felt as if it was placed just for me.  And God reminded me

"When the rainbow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth." Genesis 9:16

We serve such a faithful God.  One who cares about us and our feelings.  Even sadness when following His will.  That is what I am grasping.  His rainbow.  His promise.  Our Father.

Last night I was once again reminded how many wonderful people are taking this journey with me and believe in the work Christ is/will be doing in the DR.  There is an incredible girls youth Christ Care group at our church led by a faithful teenager (Shannon Herrmann) who as their mission project decided to make a quilt.  With the help of two incredible women (Beth Lazarro and Colette Varanouskas) a beautiful quilt was made.  This wonderful  group decided to sell raffle tickets and give all proceeds to my patients.  They raised $1050!!  Funds I can use to buy medications and supplies for patients that may otherwise be unable to afford them.  I am so profoundly overwhelmed by their hard work and love for people they have never met.  This is Christ working.

Isn't it beautiful???

Friends, we serve such a glorious God.  Don't forget.  I won't.

"Bless the Lord oh my soul, worship His Holy Name, Sing like never before, oh my soul.  Lord I worship your Holy name." Matt Redman

"But as for me, I will look to the Lord, I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me."  

Micah 7:7

Yesterday was a gift.  Hilary, my dear friend who is fundraising as a missionary with Mexican Medical Ministries is home and spoke at HRC yesterday!  It was so amazing to support her and watch how Christ is working in her life to help the kids at Gabriel House.

Hilary speaking at HRC, our incredible Pastor Taylor Holbrook
 (her Dad) supporting her!!  :)

me, Lourdes Kleid, Hilary

THEN!!!  Last night we both spoke at an amazing Spanish speaking church in Mt. Kisko.  You may remember a blog post I wrote in Nov 2011 about this amazing congregation filled with new believers.  It was such a whirlwind speaking together.  Never would we have thought a year ago, when we were both living at home questioning the path Christ was leading us on that we would both be serving in the countries that weigh so heavily on our hearts!  And, Lourdes (our incredible youth leader) was/is our biggest support and translated for me!  Can't wait to speak at that church next year...in Espanol!

Sometimes it amazes me how time just simply flies by.  It has been 2 weeks since my last blog entry!  And, for once my absence in the blog-o-sphere isn't because things are mundane and life is just ticking along but because things have just been so crazy and wonderful and overwhelming.  And oh, have prayers been answered.

Many of you who have traveled this time of discernment and  fundraising with me know my biggest angst was leaving the practice I love and our patients.  I have spent many hours in prayer, questioning God whether moving to the DR was truly where he wanted me.  After all, I am in a job I love and in a position where I am helping people.  But, with each prayer Christ made it abundantly clear that his desire for me is to be a medical missionary in the Dominican Republic.

Ok, so then my prayer changed.  I prayed for my patients and practice after I left.  And, I never could have imagined what happened next.  This past week my employers were gracious enough to take me out to dinner as a goodbye and a celebration.  I brought with me my fundraising photo album filled with my story.  That dinner lasted for 3 hours and was filled with laughter and joy.  At the end they handed me the most beautiful card, that left me in tears.  My doctor, who has taught me everything I know, who I respect immensely and who is single handedly being affected the most by my departure GOT IT!  And supported me.  I left that night filled with God's provision and love.  A direct answer to prayer, in a greater way then I could ever have dreamt.

The following morning was tumor board, a multi-disciplinary cancer conference we attend with other medical oncologists, surgeons, radiologists, radiation oncologists and pathologists.  My doctor stood up during the conference and presented my resignation and departure in the most beautiful words and with a true humanitarians heart.  He challenged all the doctors and medical community in that room to stand behind me and support my cause.  To donate any equipment, medical supplies, money or resources.  And how they embraced what he was saying.  At the end I found myself surrounded by my colleagues asking if they could volunteer their time.  Imagine!  A team of surgeons coming to the remote villages I will be serving???!!!  Afterwards, we went to the President of the hospital's office and the PR department.  They encouraged me to write an article for the hospital and Physician's monthly newsletter.

Friends, this is getting so much larger than my pea-brain little head ever could have imagined.  Blessings and provisions are pouring out.

As if that wasn't enough, I was placed back in touch with a huge childhood church mentor.  The DR has been on her heart for the last couple years (unbeknownst to myself) and when she hear about my ministry, she committed to the last bit of monthly support I needed.  That's right.  I have reached my monthly goal.  It is truly happening!  Dios es bueno!!

We are so blessed to serve a mighty God, filled with love and provision.  I am proof of that.  I am privileged to have a front row seat to his miracles.  I thank each and every one of you for the huge part you are playing in this crazy journey!  Xo

This has been quite a week.  In so many ways.  Friends, it is beginning.  The lasts.  The goodbyes.  And this week I crumbled a bit.  Last weekend I spent time with a dear PA friend who lives in DC....and said goodbye. Wednesday I had my last guitar lesson.  And Tuesday marked May 1st.  May.  The month before June, which of course is the month before July.  July that so easily slipped off my tongue as my departure date when it was so many months away.  But July that is only two months away and is the end of a life filled with friends and family I love.  Not to mention my patients.  And so, there were moments of feeling overwhelmed and crazy and maybe a few tears.

But then, this morning I spent time perusing Amazon for books on tropical medicine, parasites and infectious diseases.  Which happens to be my favorite subject.  Topics I loved long before becoming a PA.  Admittedly I tell you that at 19 when other young girls were reading tabloids, you could find me in Barnes and Noble looking for the most hideous pictures of infectious diseases I could find.  Nerd, perhaps.  BUT!!!  Guess what type of medicine I will be practicing in the DR???  Just a small thing that ignites a smile to my face.

I'm sure this is a small window into how the next several months will be.  The ups and downs.  Exciting things with sadness attached.  Sometimes I wish I could skip to a year from now.  When I hopefully will have a descent understanding of the Dominican language and cultural.  My ministry site and clinic will be up and running.  And the goodbyes will be over.  But, I know I'm in good hands and look forward to sharing lasts and firsts with all of you!

XoXo