"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and my might; he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2
Several weeks ago I shared that I had become discouraged. That I was overwhelmed by thoughts that were not typical of me. During that time I spoke to a very dear friend who asked when I felt the most connected to Christ. I replied when I was on my interview in the DR, that I knew I had prayer warriors who were praying for His will to be done. She suggested something so simple and obvious. I needed those prayer warriors throughout this next year, as I step outside of my comfort zone and begin fundraising. And so, my prayer cards were created. I can't tell you the immense difference I feel since asking specific people to pray for specific things. The power of prayer is so incredible. Allow me to share with you how it has helped me just in the last couple of weeks.
The heart of my parents has completely changed over this past year. From supportive of whatever I do but not really "getting it" to being my biggest supporters. Example- behind our house a new house on 30 acres of land has been created. My Mom has been dying to meet our neighbors. So, she finally convinced my Dad on their way home from shopping last weekend to stop by. Our new neighbors are devout Christians and my parents were able to share with them my calling. To perfect strangers! Within several days a brown paper bag sat on our front step with a book about a young female missionary from the 1800s who went abroad to India and an encouraging letter, to me.....from a total stranger!! The book came at the right time as I was feeling overwhelmed and thinking, what can a single young 26 year old girl really do? Answered prayers.
This weekend, on Saturday I sat down with my dear friends who are missionaries with a wonderful campus ministry called Disciplemakers. I can't recall feeling more humbled than when leaving them. I met with them to share how God has been working in my life, as friends. Not only have they showed faithfully that they believe in my ministry but they offered to be fundraising mentors for me! What a blessing! I feel so isolated from Students International so to have people willing to help stateside is incredible. They also want me to visit them in Penn State and set up meetings with a bunch of their missionary friends who greatly believe in international missions. Where did all this come from? Only above.
On Sunday, I wasn't planning to attend morning church but go on a hike in Mohonk and then attend late afternoon church. A thunderstorm seemed to ruin our plans. A friend of mine and I decided to go to Arlington Reformed Church, to wait out the rain, then go biking in New Paltz. It was soon very evident this was the right plan. We walked in 20 minutes late. The head pastor at that church was my Youth Pastor when I went to Mexico so has seen my transformation. Of course he announced us to everyone, being the lovely on the spot kind of guy he is. But then during prayer time he had me stand up and his congregation pray for me about the DR. Wow! Afterwards, I was able to share with people about this journey. And I loved it! Maybe public speaking won't be so bad. I forgot how fun it is to share God's work in my life with people who haven't been with me since the beginning. To show how the puzzle pieces fit. And with my conversation I gained a new prayer supporter and financial supporter. He is good! He is encouraging me!
I often say, I just want to be there. But God showed me this past weekend what an important step this next year will be. To have the opportunity to meet people I never would have in the past. To find prayer warriors which are just as important, if not more so, then financial supporters. I look forward to sitting down with many of you in person and sharing stories!
I pray that we all have open eyes to seeing His work in our lives. Happy Monday!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Today I am excited. Today is the beginning. I am having my first official talk about the DR and meeting with prayer supporters!! I can't wait to sit with them and share how Jesus has worked through my life and the quest I am embarking on. My favorite topic! This family is very special to me as they are in ministry themselves and were with me on my first trip to the DR in Nov 2009. How things have changed! The perfect place to begin.
For the past couple of months, I have been blessed to be placed in contact with an incredible missionary who is a year ahead of me in this process. She is currently in language school in Guatemala. I placed a link to her blog on the left side of this page. If you get the opportunity to check it out, she is an amazing testimony as to how God will carry us and provide when we are following his will. She and I have been in contact since a couple weeks before my interview with SI and she has been a huge wealth of information to me. I have actually never met her in person. Add that to the list of things I am looking forward to!
Will let you know how everything goes today. Blessings to you all!!
"Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him and he will act. He will make your vindication light, and the justice of your cause like noonday." Psalm 37:4
For the past couple of months, I have been blessed to be placed in contact with an incredible missionary who is a year ahead of me in this process. She is currently in language school in Guatemala. I placed a link to her blog on the left side of this page. If you get the opportunity to check it out, she is an amazing testimony as to how God will carry us and provide when we are following his will. She and I have been in contact since a couple weeks before my interview with SI and she has been a huge wealth of information to me. I have actually never met her in person. Add that to the list of things I am looking forward to!
Will let you know how everything goes today. Blessings to you all!!
"Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him and he will act. He will make your vindication light, and the justice of your cause like noonday." Psalm 37:4
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Impatience = Distrust
It is August 14....exactly 41 days since I have been accepted to Students International. For those of you who don't know me as well as others, I am very much a type A person in many areas of my life. Which means I am always looking towards the next step and planning. I find it difficult to live in the moment as I am constantly looking ahead for the next step. God is really testing my patience level these days. In my eyes I am ready to jump. Ready to start fundraising and talking to everyone who will listen about where God is leading me. And I suppose that is a good thing, except when everything at this point is out of my control.
I am impatient. SI and I are still working out details, budgeting, fine tuning timeline, etc. But I just want to plunge. I had originally planned on moving home for a year....that was 14 months ago and now I will be here until at least June 2012. Which seems forever away. You would think by now I would learn I am not in control, to lift these traits up to the one who is. Yet once again I am humbled. Yesterday in my devotion time God reminded me of his ever present spirit and how once again I have to trust. Trust him not only in the big things but also the minute details. In this situation, my impatience is showing distrust in his plan. He will lead me and I will begin fundraising in His time. Until then, I can still love on the DR and tell every person I meet how blessed I am to know Jesus and this incredible journey we are embarking on!
"The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps." Proverbs 16:9
It's just hard for me not to think about this place and people that have stolen my heart....with pictures as these can you blame me???
I pray that you all had a restful Sabbath and are renewed in His spirit as we start this new week!
I am impatient. SI and I are still working out details, budgeting, fine tuning timeline, etc. But I just want to plunge. I had originally planned on moving home for a year....that was 14 months ago and now I will be here until at least June 2012. Which seems forever away. You would think by now I would learn I am not in control, to lift these traits up to the one who is. Yet once again I am humbled. Yesterday in my devotion time God reminded me of his ever present spirit and how once again I have to trust. Trust him not only in the big things but also the minute details. In this situation, my impatience is showing distrust in his plan. He will lead me and I will begin fundraising in His time. Until then, I can still love on the DR and tell every person I meet how blessed I am to know Jesus and this incredible journey we are embarking on!
"The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps." Proverbs 16:9
It's just hard for me not to think about this place and people that have stolen my heart....with pictures as these can you blame me???
I pray that you all had a restful Sabbath and are renewed in His spirit as we start this new week!
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| Praying for a 5 year old boy who has Cerebral Palsy and no wheelchair (Nov '09)! He's either on the floor or in the arms of his mother. Our church brought a wheelchair donated from our special education ministry (Odyssey) the following trip! Answered prayers! |
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| Children sponsored by the ministry Sowers of the Kingdom, an organization associated with my church that I do short term medical mission trips with |
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| This is all one family!!! Writing out prescriptions. |
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| Playa Bonita, Samana Peninsula, DR |
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| Mountain view from Palmarito, Samana Peninsula |
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| Remote mountain community; Palmarito |
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| Palmarito |
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| Palmarito nina! |
Friday, August 5, 2011
......truly that simple??
"Enjoy serving the Lord, and he will give you what you want." Psalm 37: 4
"When we submit to God's plans, we can trust our desires. Our assignment is found at the intersection of God's plan and our pleasures. What do you love to do? What brings you joy? What gives you a sense of satisfaction?
Some long to feed the poor. Others enjoy leading the church.....Each of us has been made to serve God in a unique way....
The longings of your heart, then, are not incidental; they are critical messages. The desires of your heart are not to be ignored; they are to be consulted. As the wind turns the weather vane, so God uses your passions to turn your life. God is too gracious to ask you to do something you hate."
from Grace For The Moment by Max Lucado
Is it really that simple? Following our Lord is following the will he has placed within our heart? To trust that which he has placed so strongly at the depths of our being that we are unable to ignore?
I had a tough couple of weeks. I have been living in the now. Which I suppose isn't such a bad thing considering I will still be in the states for almost another year. But, it is a change in pace since the past few months have been all about the DR. Perhaps because I know I will be there in Fall of 2012 I don't feel the need to spend countless hours longing to understand this next step.
For the first time last week I felt fear. I continued to experience an all consuming peace and understanding that this is indeed the next step, but fear enveloped my thoughts. Interestingly, not fear of the DR but all I have to do before arriving. Fear that people will not believe in my ministry and financial support will not come. Fear of going from a lucrative career to one fully relying on Him to provide. Fear of mission training school, that I don't have the biblical knowledge all the other missionaries will have. Fear of leaving home and my parents behind. Fear of walking away from a job I love. But most of all, fear of going to Guatemala for language school. Learning foreign languages does not come easily to me. I have studied Latin, French and Spanish. I can barely tell you how to say "hello" in any of them. Not my forte. I am scared of living in Guatemala. The DR has become a second home to me. I am very comfortable there. But Guatemala is a whole nother realm. What are the people like? Will they be welcoming? As I stumble through one of the biggest challenges I will face, learning Spanish?
I hate being afraid. I truly felt my fear was coming between my relationship with Christ. I spent a good portion of last weekend in devotion. Remarkably I felt little consolation. Until Tuesday. He answers. Tuesday morning at work, I had a new patient. She brought a translator because she only spoke Spanish. I was so excited to have my first Spanish speaking patient in Poughkeepsie (after over a year of practicing here). In the Bronx at Montefiore I was surrounded by many Dominicans and Puerto Ricans but not in the suburbs. Probably the only thing I miss about working in the Bronx. As I step into my exam room an incredible sound of Spanish filled the air. I asked where my patient is from. But of course Guatemala, and she was lovely. And I found peace. Once again. He answers. Trust Rachel. Trust.
This past week was the hardest I have experienced since specializing in Oncology. I am privileged to spend an immense amount of time with my patients and their families. We become such an intimate part of each other's lives. I have hundreds of patients, but about 8-10 who are acutely ill requiring chemo to keep them alive. They are the ones I become incredibly close to. On Monday I admitted two of those patients to the hospital and on Thursday I discharged one on Hospice and unexpectedly the other passed away. To love a patient and lose them is heartbreaking. But all in one day. Such heartache. And through the sadness He was there. I was able to be with my patient's family right after he passed. What a blessing to share that time with them. To express to them how much he had meant to me.
People often ask how I can practice in oncology, isn't it sad? My answer is quite simple. I believe in a God who loves my patients more than I. He works through my hands and when it is their time, He takes them. To a place far away from the pain and agony they have endured. I believe in heaven and that my patients are in the place He has created for them. They are with the ultimate healer and have been healed. They are at last at peace. But yes how I miss them.
I hope this evening finds you all at peace. If I could ask you to please keep me in your prayers. Prayers as I am beginning this journey. To trust and follow in his steps.
"When we submit to God's plans, we can trust our desires. Our assignment is found at the intersection of God's plan and our pleasures. What do you love to do? What brings you joy? What gives you a sense of satisfaction?
Some long to feed the poor. Others enjoy leading the church.....Each of us has been made to serve God in a unique way....
The longings of your heart, then, are not incidental; they are critical messages. The desires of your heart are not to be ignored; they are to be consulted. As the wind turns the weather vane, so God uses your passions to turn your life. God is too gracious to ask you to do something you hate."
from Grace For The Moment by Max Lucado
Is it really that simple? Following our Lord is following the will he has placed within our heart? To trust that which he has placed so strongly at the depths of our being that we are unable to ignore?
I had a tough couple of weeks. I have been living in the now. Which I suppose isn't such a bad thing considering I will still be in the states for almost another year. But, it is a change in pace since the past few months have been all about the DR. Perhaps because I know I will be there in Fall of 2012 I don't feel the need to spend countless hours longing to understand this next step.
For the first time last week I felt fear. I continued to experience an all consuming peace and understanding that this is indeed the next step, but fear enveloped my thoughts. Interestingly, not fear of the DR but all I have to do before arriving. Fear that people will not believe in my ministry and financial support will not come. Fear of going from a lucrative career to one fully relying on Him to provide. Fear of mission training school, that I don't have the biblical knowledge all the other missionaries will have. Fear of leaving home and my parents behind. Fear of walking away from a job I love. But most of all, fear of going to Guatemala for language school. Learning foreign languages does not come easily to me. I have studied Latin, French and Spanish. I can barely tell you how to say "hello" in any of them. Not my forte. I am scared of living in Guatemala. The DR has become a second home to me. I am very comfortable there. But Guatemala is a whole nother realm. What are the people like? Will they be welcoming? As I stumble through one of the biggest challenges I will face, learning Spanish?
I hate being afraid. I truly felt my fear was coming between my relationship with Christ. I spent a good portion of last weekend in devotion. Remarkably I felt little consolation. Until Tuesday. He answers. Tuesday morning at work, I had a new patient. She brought a translator because she only spoke Spanish. I was so excited to have my first Spanish speaking patient in Poughkeepsie (after over a year of practicing here). In the Bronx at Montefiore I was surrounded by many Dominicans and Puerto Ricans but not in the suburbs. Probably the only thing I miss about working in the Bronx. As I step into my exam room an incredible sound of Spanish filled the air. I asked where my patient is from. But of course Guatemala, and she was lovely. And I found peace. Once again. He answers. Trust Rachel. Trust.
This past week was the hardest I have experienced since specializing in Oncology. I am privileged to spend an immense amount of time with my patients and their families. We become such an intimate part of each other's lives. I have hundreds of patients, but about 8-10 who are acutely ill requiring chemo to keep them alive. They are the ones I become incredibly close to. On Monday I admitted two of those patients to the hospital and on Thursday I discharged one on Hospice and unexpectedly the other passed away. To love a patient and lose them is heartbreaking. But all in one day. Such heartache. And through the sadness He was there. I was able to be with my patient's family right after he passed. What a blessing to share that time with them. To express to them how much he had meant to me.
People often ask how I can practice in oncology, isn't it sad? My answer is quite simple. I believe in a God who loves my patients more than I. He works through my hands and when it is their time, He takes them. To a place far away from the pain and agony they have endured. I believe in heaven and that my patients are in the place He has created for them. They are with the ultimate healer and have been healed. They are at last at peace. But yes how I miss them.
I hope this evening finds you all at peace. If I could ask you to please keep me in your prayers. Prayers as I am beginning this journey. To trust and follow in his steps.
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