I'm blessed to love my job.  I love the time I spend with my patients.  The autonomy I have but the accessibility of my attending Physician.  I love our small family run practice.  In the era of "big business" we continue to exude that comfortable medical climate.  I have to say, one of the hardest things in all this is thinking of the day I have to tell my employer I am leaving.  I can't risk telling them so far in advance.  I need my job until I leave.  But, I can't help but feel guilty that by day I am putting my all into a job that is, in my mind, temporary.  I have spent much time in devotion over when the best time will be to give my notice.  The last thing I want to do is leave the practice hanging, but I also need to think of my future.  I still have 8 months here.  I need a pay check during that time!

I thought once I accepted with SI that feeling of being "torn" would subside.  That, since everything in my life is working towards the DR, my job would be that just a job.  Perhaps I throw myself into things too much, but my job is my life.  Will my patients be ok without me?  Of course they will theoretically.  They were fine before me and will be fine without me.  But, who will love them like I do?

Another thing I have to trust.  Trust that God will provide the right timing to give my notice.  Trust that whoever replaces me will be an even better fit for my patients.  Trust that this is the journey I'm meant to follow and everything will fall into place.