Ok. So I admit it. I have been dreading writing this entry. For three weeks I have been avoiding it. When I stepped on the airplane to MTI, I was completely devoid of any expectations, as I'm sure you ascertained from my previous entries. MTI was just a check box, one more thing Students International required before getting to the field. A task.
My friends, if I really knew what the last three weeks would entail, I'm pretty sure that half of me would have jumped at the opportunity and the other half would have ran away screaming. Thank goodness we have a merciful Father that only allows us to see or know how much we can handle. Being conscious of both my time and yours, I will try my best to give you the "top ten" highlights.
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Mission Training International (MTI) Palmer Lake, CO |
1) Yay and Yuck Duck (thanks Kim). A year ago my dear missionary friend (who I finally get to see on a regular basis in 2 weeks!!) went to MTI and kept blogging about said ducks. Then she graciously sent me my own pair of ducks. With every positive experience (YAY!) we are faced with something challenging (YUCK). And vice versa. Like Yay for being united with my Dominican missionary friends and natives but Yuck being separated from my friends and family in the states.
2) Keeping the Sabbath. At MTI we spent an entire day in Sabbath. Learning the importance of taking that time now and while in the field. As missionaries we are often pulled in a million different directions (sounds kinda like being a PA) and sometimes that means helping to lead church services and "working" on Sundays. How can we be healthy as people and missionaries if we don't take that valuable time with our dear creator to hear His voice and rest? And who says the Sabbath has to be on a Sunday? This past year I attempted to spend time every morning in devotion, let me tell you, those devos were so powerful in Colorado and the Spirit just wouldn't stop speaking! It didn't hurt that my devo spot was gorgeous!!
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view during devos every am in Colorado |
3) "I desire mercy, and not sacrifice, For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:13
I was feeling entirely inadequate during MTI. I was sitting in the presence of incredibly remarkable people. Those who have known Christ their entire lives, those who went to seminary and those who are laying their lives down for Him. I am a baby Christian compared to them. I didn't know what having a relationship with Jesus meant until Nov 2009, and I was 25! Then during my Sabbath time, God reminded me of Matthew. The tax collector. And how the apostles questioned why he was chosen to be a follower. And Jesus reminded them of who His people are. They are the broken. Those who make the wrong choices. I was reminded that Christ will use my broken spots to glorify Him.
4) The boat. Back in the day when Hudson Taylor, C.T. Studd and Amy Carmichael (thanks for the crash course in missionaries Colette) went abroad, I'm sure they went through chaos before stepping on the boat. The chaos of fundraising, saying goodbye and settling affairs. Of feeling entirely unsettled. But, then they stepped on a boat. For several weeks. Slow transportation that enabled them to breathe before beginning their ministry. Nowadays, we just have a quick plane ride and are in our mission countries within hours. No time to breathe. Friends, right now I am taking my boat. Guarding my precious time to breathe. To try and process the intensity of MTI and prepare for the inadequacies and shock I will feel when stepping foot on Dominican soil. And to say goodbye. For real.
5) Hello/Goodbye. No "I will see you in December, this isn't goodbye!" does not suffice. I have to say goodbye, for real. For me and for you. I know this sounds ridiculously obvious, but it is not the easiest thing to do. And for those of you who know me, I am the queen of avoidance and making myself crazy with trying to spend more time with people so that final goodbye never comes. As missionaries, we are constantly saying hello and goodbye. We cannot love to our fullest intensity without feeling both these beginnings and ends. And that is our purpose. To love with Christ-like intensity.
6) This brings me to the missionaries I met. Sigh. My heart aches and yearns for those I just left. Spending three weeks with brothers and sisters who are leaving all they know in the states to serve our Father was magical. Those who completely understand the crazy emotions I am feeling right now. There were over 60 couples, families and singles going to over 20 different countries to church plant, teach, start child sponsorship programs, stop sex trafficking, work at hospitals and begin a medical school, community health outreaches, etc. What incredible people who are using their God given gifts to preach the gospel. It was especially therapeutic to spend time with the young single missionaries. Every night we stayed up late chatting in the "singles lounge," playing scrabble, cards and resting in the presence of others who just understand. They get what we're giving up, but what we're going to. Leaving them was difficult, knowing we may never see each other this side of Heaven, calling "home" different places across the country and leaving for completely different countries. But, I know that I have support across the world when things get tough. I am so thankful to walk beside these incredible people.
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Me and Lexi (who will be my housemate in the DR!!) |
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Lexie (DR), Molly (Uganda), Amanda (Kenya), Me, Emily (South Africa) |
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From all over the place!! (Kansas, Cali, NY, WA, Switzerland!) |
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our SPLICE/MTI family |
7) The Waldo Canyon Fire. I don't think I want to know what God is preparing me for by placing me in these crazy scenarios. As I wrote in my previous blog entries, we did in fact have to be evacuated. Thankfully it was a grace filled experience and I was blown away by the love shown to us by fellow Christians. It felt as though we should be serving this community, not vice versa. The Colorado Springs community was greatly impacted by this tragedy, with 246 people losing their homes. Please continue to keep them in your prayers. Being evacuated was truly the best training for service, humility and God's provision.
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Smoke over MTI, Pikes Peak is to the right of this picture |
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Day of evacuation |
8) God's Beauty- sometimes I feel a bit selfish that as a missionary I am blessed to travel and see God's creation at it's best. Almost everyday, I took beautiful walks at lunchtime or in the morning with the Rockies in the background. I also had the privilege of spending a day at Estes Park in Rocky Mountain National Park and another day climbing a 14er (14000+ ft mountain). What an amazing experience! The visibility wasn't the best, but it was still an incredible testament to creation!
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Me, Lexie, Amanda and Emily |
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Starting the climb up Mt. Democrat |
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Kite Lake |
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Not the best visibility, but still awesome!! |
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At the Summit of Mt. Democrat!! 14,000+ ft |
9) Conflict Styles- this was training I feel like every person should have to undergo. We learned what type of conflict styles we each are and how to deal with others that may handle situations differently. This was truly put to the test when we did terrorist training simulations. On the field, the number one reason missionaries leave is due to conflict with other missionaries. So sad. I pray that we may all take the knowledge we gained about ourselves and others to the field as we are placed in difficult and unforeseen situations.
10) Lamentations/inadequacies/lost identities. I mean what are any of us really doing? I have a vision of what I will be doing in the DR, but when it becomes reality, what will my ministry truly look like? Who will I be after living in the DR for years? American? Dominican? Will Dominicans truly embrace me as their own? Will I ever learn Spanish? What about my medical skills? I know Oncology and Hematology....but tropical medicine? Will I live up to my supporter expectations?
We worked through each of these questions and more. And did we gain answers or insight? Sometimes yes. Other times, we lifted them up to those who called us. Because, sometimes only time will tell. And, sometimes the answer is just too hard.
The past three weeks were unbelievable. I feel like they never even happened. Filled with tears, anguish, love, adversity, laughter, joy and praise. I know it will take me months to process all I learned about my identity in Christ and His plan for me in the DR. I thank you for all your prayers and support as I was undergoing training. It was more valuable than I can express. I look forward to the time I have with you before moving July 27th! And to say proper goodbyes!
"Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayers and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
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